I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about what it means to “pay attention.”
I feel like I’ve forgotten how to write in the year since I’ve last sent this newsletter. I’m not sure how to knit together any of these fragmented thoughts. This missive feels like a tangled skein of yarn, knotted around concepts like attention/devotion/practice/process. I move through several drafts, seemingly only able to write disconnected blurbs of text. Has social media fragmented my attention this badly? It certainly seems possible.
Perhaps contrary to common sense, attention is a historically constituted framework of seeing the world. By which I mean, far from being natural and self-evident, attention is a construct, one we can quite literally trace back to the nineteenth century. As Jonathan Crary explains in his 1999 book Suspensions of Perception, “attention” describes the historical and societal push for individuals to disengage from “a broader field of attraction” to focus primarily on isolated stimuli. Distraction, Crary argues, can only be understood in its contemporary sense as yoked together with the practices of attention that first began to crystallize just over two centuries ago.
The reason I’ve been thinking about attention and specifically the concept of “paying attention” is related to the social media platform Twitter, or as it’s now ridiculously called, X. I’ve been a devoted user of this microblogging platform for a decade, unfortunately, and have found its unique combination of features relationally—and sometimes creatively—stimulating. Twitter has brought me friendships, collaborators, and a place to just hang out when I should probably be doing other things.
Twitter has also brought me a hideously deadening urge to refresh, refresh, refresh—and then carry that same behavior over to emails, groupchats, even the news. And as Elon Musk continues to run ~X~ into the ground, setting up a verified user system that no one but his acolytes wanted and thereby ensuring that the top replies for any hit tweet (sorry, post) are a noxious assemblage of climate change deniers, proponents of QAnon, white supremacists, and transphobes, many long-time users of the platform have left for greener pastures and bluer skies.
Despite my own self-assurance that I’m leaving, too, I keep finding myself spinning out those 280 character jokes, dream recollections, and cries for help. What’s really keeping me here?
Do I even truly want to leave?
Assorted Unorganized Concluding Thoughts
Hello! My name is Elliott now, and I'm a trans man. If you’re reading this you’ve been subscribed to my—to Ryn’s—Archive Fever Dream newsletter on Ghost. I just moved back to Substack, not because I agree with their platforming of many transphobic authors, but because it’s free to host and has a simple yet elegant interface, both of which meet my needs at this time.
I aim to make this a regular newsletter-writing practice, at least twice a month. Honestly, if there’s anything that can keep me off of Twitter, it’s this, so let’s hope it works!
It’s my favorite time of year, Scorpio Season. The leaves turn and fall; I love the splash of color that names the fullness of decay. If I’m really paying attention to anything around me at the moment it’s this.
And, I remain broken open by the ongoing Israeli genocide of Palestinians in Gaza. Please, please, if you live in the U.S., call your reps and demand a ceasefire. Do this every day, if you can. Jewish Voice for Peace has a great and straightforward guide to doing so here. Every day I am more convinced that there will be no Judaism but a Judaism beyond Zionism.
Until next time, friends!
This really made me think! I have heard that our attention spans are now the same as an average goldfish but I hadn't heard about the history around attention. I can get really focused on something at times, but some things I really struggle with. I do find that as much as I love and value the connections I've made on social media, the dopamine relationship with short form content really creates an urge to always be seeking a rush of dopamine, even when happily working on something. Thanks for sharing! I'm excited to read more!